Aaahhh... Romance: European Men Are So Much More Romantic Than American Men
Awesome article: Sex Advice From Scientists
Sweet research paper: Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass
Leak from the White House (Take with a grain of salt): http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/4/12/24219/8100
Q) What should I call you?
A) I am a man of many names, but Master usually works. For others, you can call me Dan, Buckyboy, Bucket, El Guacamole, John J. Phisteriasis, Buck Wild, Yarmulke Dan, or Something Awesome.
Q) How are you so awesome?
A) The product of a government genetic experiment in crossbreeding pirates and ninjas gone awry, Dan realized his super powers from a young age. After undergoing a witness protection program and abandoning the use of his x-ray vision and prehensile tail, Dan settled into a relatively normal life. And by the way that was a lie: I still use my prehensile tail on occasion.
Q) Are you single?
A) I am single and singularly amazing. But I'm also picky, so ask before you set up a shrine to me.
Lines from songs that send chills down my spine:
"All the things you said / Have they been repealed?" -Null Device
"We met that night, when the sea ran high. / And I craved for more of that nearlove experience. / ... / I was to live alone, ready to make the sacrifice. / Was I in love with you?..." -Sonata Arctica
"Dana, oh, Dana I'm writing to you / I heard you passed away, it was a beautiful day / I'm old and I feel time will come for me / My diary's pages are full of thee" -Sonata Arctica
"Now I'm winding up staring at an empty glass / 'Cause it's so easy to say that you'll forget your past" -Greg Kihn
"And when I saw you there it was the first time / And you just walked on by / I was catching the sparks that flew from your heels / And trying to catch your eye / but that was somewhere else" -Razorlight
"Have you ever felt like there was more / Like someone else was keeping score / And what could make you whole was simply out of reach / Well I know." -The Offspring
"The sky it was gold, it was rose, / I was taking sips of it through my nose, / And I wish I could get back there, / Some place back there, / Smiling in the pictures you would take, / Doing crystal meth, / Will lift you up until you break, / It won't stop,
I won't come down." -Third Eye Blind
"Open up the gates of the church and let me out of here! / Too many people have lied in the name of Christ / For anyone to heed the call. / So many people have died in the name of Christ / That I can't believe it all." -Crosby, Stills, and Nash
"In fighting there's no dignity / It's such a waste of time / Take my hand, / I don't think God will mind." -Great Big Sea
"But I don't care. I can fade away to anywhere." -Catch 22
"Alone in my room with a bucket full of phlegm. / I don't need a music scene to tell me who I am" -Catch 22
"God, I want to be a man / But I don't want to die with a rifle in my hand" -Bad Religion
"There's one more kid that will never go to school / Never get to fall in love, never get to be cool" -Neil Young
"You take my hand and pull me next to you, so close to you / I have a feeling you don't have the words / I found one for you, kiss your cheek, say bye, and walk away / Don't look back 'cause I am crying" -Sonata Arctica
The obligatory elephant jokes:
Q: How do you fit four elephants in a Volkswagen?
A: Two in the front seat, two in the back.
Q: How do you tell if there's an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: There are footprints in the peanut butter.
Q: How do you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: There are two sets of footprints in the peanut butter.
Q: How do you tell if there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't close.
Q: How do you tell if there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
A: There's a Volkswagen parked out back.